Beren (beren_writes) wrote,
Beren
beren_writes

Vampire Movies That Suck (and not in a good way IMHO)

Right so I did the post on Vampire Movies that Do Not Suck and here is the alternative, the ones that are really bad :). Now these are not the ones in the middle that aren't great, but also aren't hideous, these are the really horrible ones, be warned.

Vampire Movies That Suck (and not in a good way)

The Lost Boys II - The Tribe - they tried to do a sequel by remaking the original with a bad plot, bad acting and utter boredom - the only good thing about this movie is Corey Feldman and although he tries hard to save it, he fails. The plot is the same as the first one, only not as well written and with 2D characters. It commits the ultimate sin of making vampires mind numbingly boring. I was so very disappointed since I'd been waiting since the 80s for the sequel.

Mama Dracula - how to explain this one. Ugly vampires, bad acting, no plot and hideous cinematography. This film has no redeeming qualities IMO.

Vampire Knights (I'm guessing at the IMDB entry because there's not a lot there and the last time I saw the movie was in the early 90s) - this one is almost so bad it's good. It's so cheap that when they go from the living room to the kitchen the lighting levels change radically and make it look as if they went from video to film or something. They were too cheap for special effects so the vamps don't go up in flames or melt in sunlight, they just vanish.

Thirst - now this one is high budget Korean horror and I know some people think it is superb, but, for me, is suffers from being far too up its own posterior. I eventually watched it in fast forward and was still bored out of my skull.

Dracula's Curse (Patrick Bergin) - this one has a decent budget too ... but, oh heavens it's deadly. If you have insomnia put this on, it will cure it.

Bloodrayne 2 - Deliverance - now I liked Bloodrayne the movie, good characters, fast paced plot and enjoyable despite the holes. Number 2 on the other hand is trying to do vampires and cowboys and just lacks anything worth watching.

Bitten - this calls itself comedy horror - it might be a comedy of something, but good horror it isn't. The plot is obvious, the violence unnecessary and the characters are unlikeable morons who deserve to die.

Against the Dark - now this has Steven Seagal in it and so you'd expect a kick arse movie even if the dialogue was a bit lame. Unfortunately Seagal seems to have been hired for his name and to stand there rather than do anything. It's just so meh!

Vampire Killer Addicted to Murder 3 - Blood Lust - it was so bad it required 3 titles. Biggest problem with this one was that it makes no attempt to explain who the lead it. If they spent more then 50 quid on it I'd be surprised. It's just bad with a capital B. Unnecessarily violent, terrible dialogue and has no redeeming features.

To my shame I own most of these on DVD. Feel free to disagree with me, these are just my opinions :).
Tags: genre: vampires
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