Beren (beren_writes) wrote,

Fic: Cats Do Not Always React Well to Changes in Their Environment, FSkating, Weir/Lambiel/Lysacek

♥Fluff Friday♥

Title: Cats Do Not Always React Well to Changes in Their Environment
Author: Beren
Fandom: Figure Skating RPS
Pairing: Johnny Weir/Evan Lysacek/Stéphane Lambiel
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The real people in the fic are owned by themselves and this is pure fiction, it did not happen.
Warnings: threesome
Summary: Sequel to Kitten Tales : Johnny, Stéphane and Evan had been in a relationship for nearly three years and they have bought their first house together.
Author's Notes: Written for Fluff Friday, so it really is fluffy :). Thanks to Soph for the beta.
Word Count: 5,232
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Johnny hummed happily to himself as he finished cleaning the bathroom of their new house. 'Their new house'; that thought still filled him with sparkling delight every time it caught him unawares. It was in L.A., it was huge and they'd had a maid service in to clean everything before they moved in, but there were just some things Johnny had to do himself. He had now cleaned all the bathrooms and he had finished with the one in the master bedroom, so he was happy.

They'd begun moving in that morning and Evan and Stéphane were somewhere arranging furniture. Knowing Evan, they'd rearranged everything three times by now, but since Johnny had been on his knees scrubbing a perfectly clean shower floor, he wasn't about to throw stones about peculiar habits. He had also been round the whole place in cat form to inspect it and claim it as his own. It barely seemed like yesterday that they had gotten together, but it had been nearly three years and Johnny was pretty sure they had been the happiest years of his life.

Be Good Johnny Weir was about to start filming its next season and was in syndication. Viacheslav Romanov had suddenly been noticed in season 2 and become so popular that he had his own show, on MTV of all things. They were only five minute interviews from red carpets and things, but Johnny kept finding himself being whisked off to the nicest places to do them. His book had been a huge success and some people had finally realised he had a brain as well as a body to die for, thank you very much, which had been nice. His book people were even after him to write a second one, but he had no idea what to write it about yet, after all an autobiography could only be written once. Until he'd lived a bit longer there wasn't a lot to write about. He was vaguely considering something to do with Russia and figure skating, but the idea had yet to evolve. About the only thing he hadn't managed to expand on was his interest in fashion; it had just never come off, but he still made sure to wear the most outrageous outfits he could find.

Putting his cleaning things away in their tray, he surveyed his work and decided it was good. Now it was time for some fun. Wandering downstairs, he could hear Stéphane and Evan in the living room discussing where to put the TV; there seemed to be some disagreement as to where it would be best to stop reflections from the windows. Johnny smiled to himself and went to put the cleaning supplies away; he was going to enjoy giving them something else to think about. There was nothing like a little sex to christen a new house.

He and Stéphane had come out as a couple after that first Japan trip, because everyone had noticed it and they'd had to tell the fans something. They'd then fudged Evan's position in the relationship for another year until Evan had finally had enough of sponsors and coaches and all that crap, had officially announced his retirement and twittered about sleeping with Stéphane and Johnny. Johnny had come to realise that once Evan set his mind to something there was no stopping him and he went at things with a single minded dedication that could be scary, so there had been no hiding after that.

These days Evan was coaching and setting up a new ice show for the next off season. The gold medal was still useful for attracting people with money into an enterprise. Stéphane was choreographing for a large selection of people, jet setting all over the world and being paid handsomely for doing it. Johnny was ever so proud that both his partners were so in demand.

Johnny had officially retired as well, the same year as Evan, and they'd settled into their new lives. Surprisingly, their announcement of being a three had not alienated them from the skating world and had bizarrely had the opposite effect. The fact that they kept giving interviews telling the world that they were madly in love had actually endeared them to a lot of people. They were completely committed to each other and that was the part people latched on to rather than the whole part about them being three and all men. Some people hated them with a fiery passion from the pits of hell of course, but Johnny had been shocked to say the least at the majority reaction. Given that Johnny had just announced he was coming out of retirement in an attempt for Sochi, and Evan was coaching him and Stéphane was choreographing, he was beginning to remember about the hoops he hadn't had to worry about for a couple of years, but he was enjoying his life too much to care about them.

Evan had had him on a regime that would put a twenty year old to shame for about six months to make sure he was capable of coming out of retirement, and he actually thought he was in the shape of his life. He didn't know if he would come away with anything but memories from Sochi, or even make it there, but he had to try and his partners were behind him. It was part of the reason they'd finally bought the house together; before they'd all kept their own places, using them when they were in the right part of the country or world, but now they'd sold them all and just had the one, together. Their world was about to be a little crazy until the Olympic dream was over and their house was their root of stability.

Johnny intended to make sure they had wonderful memories from the word go and, standing in the kitchen, he carefully stripped off his clothes. This was going to be special, so he shifted into his mating form and then just stood there for a moment. Something wasn't right, but he wasn't sure what it was; he felt odd. Then he looked down and, quite honestly screamed. Only when he shifted back did he dare breathe again, because his cock was then right back where it should have been, rather than being completely missing, as it had been in his alternative form.

"Johnny!" Stéphane's very worried call came from behind him and both Stéphane and Evan barrelled into the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Evan asked in an anxious tone and came up beside him.

Johnny wasn't quite sure what to say. The fact that he was naked didn't seem to faze either of his partners, but then he did have a habit of wandering around without clothes when he felt like it.

"You are not hurt?" Stéphane asked looking him over.

"Birth control," was actually the first sensible thing that came out of Johnny's mouth; "we're investing in birth control."

Both Evan and Stéphane looked at him like he might have lost his mind. There was nothing for it, so he shifted again.

"Look," he said pointedly and gestured down his body.

"Holy fuck," was what Evan said and suddenly needed to sit down on the nearest stool.

"Johnny," Stéphane said, voice full of wonder, "you are partially a girl."

Johnny really didn't need that pointing out and shifted back.

"I know," he said, mind still racing about the whole thing, "and if either of you knock me up before Sochi I may have to kill you. I'm calling my mother."

Then he stormed out to find the nearest phone; he did not need this now. He ended up upstairs in the master bedroom, wrapped in the comforter as he dialled his mom's number.

"Hello," came from the other end of the line.

"Mama, something's happened," he said, since he hadn't really figured out how to describe it.

His emotions were all in turmoil and he didn't know what to think.

"What is it, Johnny?" his mom responded almost instantly. "Nothing's happened to Evan or Stéphane has it?"

"No," he replied, equally as quickly; his mom was very fond of both his partners and he didn't want her to worry, "at least not unless either of them tries to lay a hand on me in the near future."

There was momentary silence from the other end of the line.

"Johnny, tell me what's happened," Patti finally said.

"We've moved in, Mama," he said, curling up a little more in the bedding, "and we were going to, y'know, christen the new house and so I changed..."

He paused, feeling really strange.

"And?" his mom gently encouraged. "You know you can tell me anything, Sweetheart."

Taking a deep breath he pulled himself together.

"I was a girl, Mama," he said, still not knowing how to feel; "down there I was a girl."

"Oh my," was his mother's response and then Johnny could tell that Patti recovered and instantly went into mother mode, "but you're not anymore?"

"When I shifted back everything came back," he said, feeling more than a little out of his depth, "but not in the other form."

His mom was silent for a little while.

"Well it kind of makes sense, Sweety," was the unexpected response; "you've just taken that final step with Stéphane and Evan. If something like this was going to happen, now would be the time."

"Now is not the time," he replied hotly; "I'm in training for Sochi."

He was not getting pregnant; end of story.

"But your cat half doesn't know that, Johnny," his mom told him gently. "You told me yourself you're in great shape and you three have all taken steps to bring your lives into one; as far as nature is concerned all the right buttons have been pushed."

It was all so confusing.

"But, Mama," he said, trying to get his head round it; "how does it work? I don't understand."

"Neither do I, Sweety," were not the words he wanted to hear, "but try not to panic, okay? You've always been special and we just have to figure out how special. I'll make a few phone calls and we'll get this all sorted out. Someone has to know."

Right then Johnny did not want to be special. Even though he had thought about the whole concept in abstract forms, now that it was happening he felt so out of control.

"Okay, Mama," he replied quietly.

"I'll ring back as soon as I find anything," Patti promised faithfully. "Now if I know you, you left panicked men behind you when you came to call me, so go and make sure they are okay while I call people."

"Yes, Mama," he said and realised that he had done just that. "Bye."

"This will be good in the long run, Johnny," his mom said with what sounded like supreme confidence; "you'll see."

And with that she was gone and Johnny was left just sitting there. He hadn't been mentally prepared for this and it had knocked him for a loop, but he needed to get hold of himself. His mom was right, he needed to make sure Evan and Stéphane were okay as well; Evan had looked very white. With that to focus on he managed to pull himself together somewhat and he crawled out of the bed. Their clothes were still in boxes, but he walked over to one marked 'Johnny – casual' and pulled out a pair of jeans. They were his scruffy, had them for years, never going to wear them where anyone but family can see jeans and he pulled them on without bothering with underwear.

He didn't have far to look for Evan or Stéphane, because both were camped on the landing, apparently waiting for him to come out of the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Evan asked the moment he appeared and stood away from the wall he had been leaning on.

Evan really did look very worried about him, so Johnny nodded. Stéphane seemed less worried, but did walk over and gave him a hug anyway.

"Did you know this could happen, mon Petit Chat?" Stéphane asked gently as Johnny accepted the comfort being given.

"Sort of," he admitted, looking between his partners guiltily, "but I never really took it seriously."

His race were secretive and hidden ever since the persecutions and information was hard to come by.

"I only ever found one thing that mentioned it and it read like a fairytale," he explained, analysing his own thought processes, "and I dreamed what it might be like occasionally, but it seemed so weird."

Evan gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Does this, um, does this mean you can have kids?" Evan asked, clearly not sure he should be asking it.

That was a question and a half.

"That's what the story I found said," he replied, feeling very off balance and unsure, "but I'm a shape changer, it might just be something weird in my head making superficial alterations."

He did not want to give either of his partners unfulfillable expectations.

"But just so we're clear," he added hastily; "I am not having sex with either of you until we know for sure."

There was no way in hell he was risking getting pregnant. Stéphane gave him a small smile for his rather panicked tone and he knew he was over reacting, but he'd had a really big shock. He just hoped his mom could find someone who knew something.


Patti had rung back after a couple of hours and they had spent a long time on the phone talking. His mom had tracked down a Dr Smythe who was one of their own and an expert in her own species, and although the woman had no direct knowledge of his condition, she had agreed to see him. That was why, the next morning he had piled in the car with Evan and Stéphane and they had driven five hours to visit Dr Smythe.

The scans and tests that the doctor ran were more than a little humiliating, but Johnny just held on to Stéphane or Evan's hand and endured them. It took two days of poking and prodding before there were any conclusions and Johnny felt like just about every part of him had been violated in some way, but he was glad to be sitting in Dr Smythe's office for answers.

"In your mating form you are indeed a fully functioning female," Dr Smythe said as she read the notes, "from the waist down at least."

Not really a surprise, but it was nice to have it confirmed.

"You should be able to bear children just like any woman," the doctor continued.

Also not a shock, but it did raise one big question that was bothering Johnny about the logistics of the whole situation.

"Would I be stuck in that form for the duration of the pregnancy?" he asked, doing his best to take control of his situation.

He felt unsure and confused and just plain lost at times, but he was definitely not going to let it get the better of him.

"I don't believe so," was the considered reply. "There are energy readings in your other forms which are not normal and I believe they may be residual structures for maintaining any pregnancy in your other shapes. Of course you would need to be in your female form to give birth."

That was vaguely good news at least. Not that it changed any of the nightmare scenarios he could imagine if he suddenly showed up pregnant, but at least it would be easier to hide.

"I also do not believe you have lost your normal mating form," Dr Smythe said and finally did surprise him.

"But every time I change I end up female," Johnny pointed out, and until the move he had definitely always been male.

Dr Smythe nodded and smiled.

"But I believe it may be a case of subconscious over conscious will," the woman explain. "I have been looking at the reading I took of your actual shifts and, as far as I can tell, the switch to female genitalia is an extra shift subsequent to the normal one."

She pushed a chart across the desk at him and he leant forward to look.

"The peak on the end is additional," Dr Smythe told him and pushed another chart towards him as well. "This is a normal shift from one of my other patients."

When Johnny compared the two he could see the difference just like Dr Smythe said; there was an extra peak.

"Are you saying I'm doing this deliberately?" he asked, not sure what that would mean for his psyche.

"Not deliberately," Dr Smythe told him with another smile, "but subconsciously I believe you added the change. From what your mother told me, the conditions could be considered right for such a change in attitude. However, if what I believe is true it should be possible for you to achieve both forms at will, but unfortunately I cannot tell you how."

He rubbed his forehead; this was just getting more complicated.

"So can I only get pregnant in my mating form?" he asked, deciding on a question he hoped had a straight forward answer.

"Yes," was the firm reply, which was exactly what he wanted to hear; "it is the only form with access to the correct physiology."

"And will that form cycle like a human female?" he asked, since he had horrible mental images of what that might entail.

Being a male of the species he had never actually enquired much about how things like that worked.

"Cats are induced ovulators," Dr Smythe told him as if she totally understood his horror, "and so are we as a species, so no, that is not something you will have to worry about. Sometimes I wonder how humans cope. I would simply suggest that if you choose to have sex in that form you use condoms until you wish to actually have children. You will go into heat twice or three times a year, but given your unique physiology I cannot predict if this will have an effect on you in any form other than your female one. If you are in heat I would suggest taking extra care about sex."

Luckily she did not go into detail about the whole heat thing, because Johnny wasn't sure he could take it and instead Dr Smythe handed him a pamphlet.

"This will explain how to tell," she said and gave him a very motherly smile.

He glanced at Evan and then Stéphane, feeling a bit like a freak of the first order. The fact that his partners had accepted him for what he was had amazed him the first time; he had no idea what they could be thinking now.

"Do not look so worried, mom Amour," Stéphane said and patted his hand; "this is a good thing."

"Yeah," Evan agreed and gave him a huge smile; "just imagine what beautiful rug rats you could produce, y'know, if you wanted."

That did manage to make him smile, just a bit. Evan was not the most eloquent of men, but he did seem to be able to say the right things at the right times when he needed to.

"If you do decide to have children," Dr Smythe said in a very cheerful manner, "I would be honoured to be your doctor."

Johnny wasn't fooled for a moment; he could see the genuine concern in the woman, but he could also see the slightly manic glint of a woman who had the chance to study something she had never seen before. It was a little off putting, but he doubted there were any other options.

"Thank you," he said, standing up, "but that won't be for a while."

He held out his hand towards her.

"There is an Olympic medal with my name on it first," he added as she shook the offered limb.

Babies were definitely not something that were on the agenda for the foreseeable future and he just hoped nothing else odd happened in the near future. If he had to skate with cat ears he would never live it down and everyone would undoubtedly blame Stéphane, which would be kind of hilarious, but also a little bit tragic.


Johnny stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of their bathroom door and stared at his naked body. Both Stéphane and Evan kept telling him not to worry about his mating form being female, but Johnny could not forget what Dr Smythe had said. He was making himself female and if he was doing it he should be able to stop it happening. It was logical, if annoying.

The first thing he had to do, however, was come to terms with the whole female thing, so he shifted. The momentary shock of fear stabbed through him even though he had known what he would see. He might have been gay, but he was still very attached to his penis and seeing it not there sent all sorts of crazy signals through his brain.

The idea that he, Stéphane and Evan could have their own children was a wonderful thing, really it was, but that he would be the one carrying them was a little more difficult to deal with. He was male and he had always identified as male even though he was attracted to men. He'd never once wanted to be female. His look was sometimes on the feminine side, but that didn't mean he had thought about being a girl and it scared him more than a little. He'd thought about the having children thing before, after he had found the mention of the possibility, but it had been just thinking, now that it was a reality it was entirely different.

Forcing himself to look, he examined his new body in the mirror. Other than the obvious flatness where there should have been dangly bits, his hips looked different as well, a little wider, and he already knew that was so his pelvis was the right shape for giving birth. Above the waist he looked the same as normal, the same from his thighs down, but there was the bit in the middle that was completely different.

He'd seen girls naked before, in person even and not just on the internet, because there had been that time he had decided to test if he really was gay, but he hadn't been as curious as he was now. Boys and girls really were incredibly different and, not having been overly intimate with the female of the species, he wasn't quite sure how everything worked. Sex was going to be interesting when he finally decided he was brave enough to try it in his female form. Both Evan and Stéphane had had girlfriends, so he wasn't worried that they didn't know their way around, but from his point of view he was completely lost.

There was always the option of not using his female shape until they wanted to have children, since he was pretty sure they would all decide that they wanted them at some point, but that kind of felt like the cowards way out. He'd read the leaflet Dr Smythe had given him and it looked like conception was not quite as straight forward as it could have been and would take more than one round. That meant it would probably be a lot better if he was used to the whole idea first.

With that in mind, he carefully ran his hand down over his stomach and gingerly touched the neatly trimmed nest of hair right above where his penis usually resided. That at least felt familiar. Then he dipped his hand a little lower and immediately snatched it back, because that didn't feel right at all and he might have panicked a little. There was a ridiculous little fear at the back of him mind that if he liked it too much he wouldn't be able to get back to his proper shape. He couldn't help feeling a little freaked out. It wasn't that he had anything against women, he loved them, he just didn't want to be one; he liked being a man.

Almost as if it might bite, he slowly put his hand back and gently had a little feel. He wasn't going for anything sexual, in fact he was in a decidedly unsexy mood, but he still discovered some interesting sensations. It was new and different and for a little while he explored, trying to make himself simply accept what was rather than panicking about it. He almost managed it too, but after ten minutes decided he was not going to feel any more comfortable with the whole thing except by giving himself time to accept it, so he left off. Now he was going to get the hang of this whole changing into a woman and not changing into a woman thing.

Changing shape was an instinctive thing; it wasn't something he had to think about. All his shapes came naturally, which is what made the whole woman thing that much more unsettling. He needed to analyse something he had never bothered to analyse before, so he shifted back to his human shape, trying not to feel too ecstatic to have his cock back, and then did his best to shift into his mating form slowly. The first time he got nothing; no information, no real sense of what he was doing or anything like that, but by the twelfth time he was beginning to get the hang of what was going on.

By that point he was sensing something, but it was very ephemeral and difficult to pin down. It was a lot harder to control his shift than he had ever imagined.

Four hours later he was tired, hungry and on the edge of a break through. Shifting took energy, lots of it, and he had shifted at least a hundred times, if not more, so he was about ready to keel over, only he was finally getting somewhere. He had isolated the feeling that happened just before the end of each shift from human to mating form and he almost had it. On his last shift he had managed to hang on to the point just before that feeling and for a split second he had seen himself in mating form as male, but it had slipped from his grasp. This was like the quad Evan had him practicing day after day; he was not going to let it beat him.

Standing there in human form, he looked at himself in the mirror and then he shifted. It was all a split second thing, but he grabbed at the elusive moment he knew was there and held on, closing his eyes as he fought with his own instincts, and then he felt his shape settle. He did not have that much more energy and he knew that if he hadn't managed it this time he was probably going to have to give up for today and try again after he had given his body a chance to recover, so he opened his eyes very slowly, almost dreading what he might see.

The whoop of joy as he took in the sight of male anatomy was not quite as loud or a joyful as if might have been three hours previously, but it still rattled around the bathroom. Dragging the door open, he ran into the master bedroom and found Evan holding a duster and pretending to clean the wardrobe doors. He knew for a fact that Evan and Stéphane would have been keeping a surreptitious eye on him all morning, so he didn't even bother challenging Evan on it, he just leapt at him and kissed him.

"I'm a boy," he crowed with delight, swishing his tail in celebration.

Evan just grabbed him and tried not to fall over, which was probably a good thing. It wasn't like Evan wasn't strong enough to hold him, but, on reflection he might have been a little over exuberant. Not that he cared and went back to kissing, just because he wanted to.

"I can tell," Evan said when Johnny finally drew back and grinned at him, and he realised that possibly he was a little more enthusiastic about leaping on Evan than he had planned to be and he was poking his lover in the side.

"Such a beautiful sight," came from behind him and he twisted his head round so he could see Stéphane standing in the doorway.

Johnny climbed off of Evan and smiled broadly.

"I can be a boy or a girl," he said, still incredibly pleased with himself and, in a fit of insanity, decided to prove it.

He shifted back to human, then just let the shift to his mating form happen, so he ended up female, then went back to human and then shifted and clung on to being male. The difference was obvious so, this time, he knew he had done it right and he bounced up and down on the spot. Stéphane smiled at him, seemingly just as delighted and crossed the distance between them.

"I am not surprised, Mon Petit Chat," Stéphane said, winding an arm around his waist; "I know you can do anything when you choose to."

Johnny was tired, but he was elated. He had felt so off balance since they he had discovered this new form and it had really spoiled the move into the new house, but now he felt in control and it went a long way to helping him accept it. Leaning against Stéphane, he nuzzled his partner's neck and Evan walked up behind him, completing the group by winding his long arms around both of them.

"How many do you think we should have?" Evan asked in a playful tone.

Quite a deep question considering their position.

"What, kids?" Johnny asked, not sure he really wanted to be having this conversation just yet.

Evan grinned at him.

"Orgasms," was what Evan replied and Johnny slapped him across the arm for daring to worry him like that.

"You have a one track mind," he said, because he felt it was required.

"I'm not the one who's naked and hard," Evan pointed out with a laugh.

"Mais, notre ichneumon, he has a point," Stéphane whispered in his ear; "we have not yet enjoyed the house."

Evan had given up trying to lose the mongoose nickname after Stéphane had started calling him it too, well once he had figured out what Stéphane was calling him anyway. Even Johnny had had to look that one up and then he'd laughed his ass off. He was not about to argue either, after all he was naked and sandwiched between two gorgeous men; it would have been totally counterproductive to ignore the opportunity.

He hadn't trained for four days; he really needed to get back to it, but Evan was positively encouraging their current encounter and it was not done to defy your coach. What else was Johnny supposed to do except give in?

The End
Tags: category: slash, category: threesome/moresome, fandom: ice skating rps, ficfest: fluff friday, fictype: 03-10kwds, fictype: series, genre: creature fic, pairing: is - johnny w/evan l/stephane l, rating: r to nc17, series: kitten tales, type: fiction

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  • My tweets

    Mon, 10:39: RT @ lazyjunebug: thank you fall out boy for providing us with at least another 5 years of fanfic titles

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    Wed, 10:35: RT @ maatdraws: "But even as it fell it swung its whip, and the thongs lashed and curled about the wizard’s knees, dragging him to…

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