Title: Secret Shame (Masturbation challenge 02)
Summary: Sam knows there is one thing from which he cannot run.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by WB and Eric Kripke et al. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: unrequited wincest, angst
Author's Notes: Thanks to Soph for the beta. This is 2 out of 31 short fics, all involving masturbation in honour of the Merry Month of May. All fics were written with knowledge up to Hell House, no canon after that was used since that's as far as I've seen.
Word count: 248
Link: to all mmom entries
Ever since he had been old enough to realise quite how strange his life was Sam had been on a mission to find normal. He had run from everything he knew to Stanford and had tried to create what he had never known. Of course there was one thing he could never make normal. Something that had been the catalyst for his crusade and the thing that he had found he could never do anything about.
He had not been able to run from it when he had left home and slept with his first man at a drunken party. He had not been able to shake it with his first girlfriend at college who had lasted a week before Sam had called out the wrong name during sex. He had not even been able to forget his shame as Jess held him in her arms and told him that it didn't matter that his mind sometimes slipped to other things. He was with her most of the time and they loved each other and that was all that counted.
He had carried the secret and the shame since he could understand what it was and it was no different now. He looked down as the water of the shower washed the grime of the latest hunt from his skin and he fisted his cock one more time, coming with the image of his brother, bloody but victorious, in his mind and Dean's name whispered on his lips.